Guess Who? Military Family Edition

Guess Who? Military Family Edition

If you were asked to point out a military family, would you know what one looks like?   It might seem like an odd question, but it’s harder to describe than you might guess.  When pondering this question myself, I asked the most knowledgeable source I know, Google, to see what the mighty search engine might say.  This is the response I received, 

“A military family typically includes service members and their spouses and children, often living on or near military bases. They may experience frequent relocations, deployments, and a strong sense of community among other military families.”

I’ve got to hand it to Google, that was a pretty standard response, but was it really accurate? I’m guessing the average American would mostly agree with the description Google listed, but to say that is a good representation of a military family would be an inconclusive generalization. 

Military families are not so different from civilian families.  Matter of fact, one thing Google didn’t mention are the hundreds of thousands of military families who serve in the National Guard and Reserves. 

According to USAfacts.org, as of June 2025, there were 766,000 reserve troops serving in the United States, along with 1.3 million active duty troops.

You might be wondering what this has to do with the discussion of what a military family looks like and why it matters. Will you hang with me while we take a look?

Let’s start by clarifying that the “typical” active duty military family does often live on or near military bases. In a nutshell, this means they are within a short drive to the service member’s unit, including base resources, military community housing, education facilities with other military kids, military support groups for spouses and many other support services that are provided to families living on or near a military base. These are all very good options for those serving our nation, especially during times of deployment.

Now, let’s get a picture of National Guard and Reservist families. Oh, wait…this may be a little harder! This is where we pull out the proverbial game of “Guess Who?”.  

Question: “Does a Reservist live near their military base or unit?”

Answer: “What do you mean by “near”? National Guard and Reserve troops can travel hundreds of miles to their units for drill.  Others may live near a military base, but their unit may be out in a small rural town an hour or more away, because that is where their job skills are most needed. 

Question: “Do Reservists experience frequent deployments?” 

Answer: National Guard members typically serve part-time and are often called upon for domestic emergencies, such as natural disasters and civil unrest, in addition to international missions. Many times when National Guard and Reservists get called to duty, it is individually or with a small contingency of troops, helping other organizations or larger military components.  So, although the deployments may not be frequent, the post-9/11 NG and Reserve service member has likely endured multiple deployments away from home. These deployments can range from a few days serving stateside, to one year deployments overseas. 

Question: “Do National Guard and Reserve families have ‘a strong sense of community among other military families’?”

Answer: Herein lies the difference.  National Guard and Reserve families rarely get to engage with other military families.  While active duty families typically have access to others in the military community, NG and Reserve families typically only get to engage with their servicemember’s unit during annual family day events and deployment ceremonies.  

The beautiful support network that is available for active duty families is rarely ever seen among the reserve component.  This means that when a service member deploys, their kids experience deployment related issues that may be overlooked or mis-interpreted because they could be the only student in a school with a military parent.  

It may also mean that a highly functioning military spouse might become disengaged within their civilian community because the weight of a military separation has overwhelmed their ability to carry out the day to day functions that on a “typical” basis, are covered by 2 people.  

A “typical” National Guard or Reservist is likely working in a non governmental role in their civilian lives.  They might be a Nurse in a hospital, an airline pilot, a farmer, a contractor or any myriad of occupations that are currently being filled in our society. And when they get called to duty, someone has to fill that role.  Sometimes, that means losing a position or a client or even a business altogether. 

Consider your view of the military family.  Is this what you had in mind? When it comes to military families, it is very much like a game of “Guess Who?”. If your guesses include any of these, “Is he a plumber? Does she have pets? Is she a caretaker of small children or an aging parent? Does he own his own business?, the answers would all be YES.

So what does a “yes” mean to you?  Look around.  If there are military families in your life, and specifically those who don’t live near a military base, YOU are their community.  YOU can help to provide them with a strong sense of support.  Play the “Guess Who” game the next time you’re out among those within your community. Engage with your neighbors. Ask about their lives. Have compassion on them, whether they are military families or not. 

And if you support our military, pray for them.

If “Support our Troops” is something you only do by slapping a bumper sticker on your car, then you’re missing the point.  Don’t miss it!

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